Thought a good idea for April’s poetry challenge would be to revise/review my old poems with one each day. I am writing a new poem (with edits each day) on 20 Lines a Day so this is my alternative on my personal blog. So here is my first offering, my first poem I blogged on here (original here) revisited with edits. Please feel free to provide constructive criticism, and please leave comments about what you like.
Alone unburdened I stand on golden sands
That shift endlessly, teasingly between toes.
Gazing across Her bruised ocean’s wake,
She roars at Her victims in the distance.
The sun falls under Her drowning cries,
Quelling the shard remains of wronged glares.
And the moon grows to full bloom,
Bathing the waters in spectral awe.
In my solitude Her power seduces,
And spells resonate from Her core.
Pulling under my relinquished desires
From my heart, I warm Her tonight .
In mourning, there are fresh promises
Delivered daily in recurring waves.
The retreating tides concede a breath,
That I withdraw in selfish haste
For lustful is Her trembling voice
That defy, but I am deaf to Her silent alarms
My life rescinds under Her ubiquitous gaze.
Beholding what lies in plain sight,
Graceful is Her demeanour under stress,
And fallen is Her granite fortress
But Her love is sacrificed for brightly jewels
Malevolent deeds sown, I harm Her today.
Trees weep,which are rooted in affliction
And dancing leaves betray their wrath.
The land quivers under feet planted deep,
With vented thoughts. Her advice is disdain
Alone burdened, muddied and fallen
I disappear to caverns buried.
In desperation, bowed at Her temple
Burning sacrifices extinguished
Rising mercury muffles merciful requests
And mist hides my desperate cries.
I love Her with my darkened heart
Her will is to be told: “Symmetry!”